Worshipping the Stoic Mother

I read Ruth Whippman’s essay in the New York Times about her mother judging her for her parenting. I wanted to both laugh and shake my head. Ms. Whippman’s mother sounds like the most terrifying mom. Imagine if your mother was as cool as a cucumber in any situation and always made a chilling comment when you misbehaved. Yikes.

Not having read Ms. Whippman’s book about searching for happiness, I can only hope that she doesn’t really mean that she wishes she could parent like her mother did. This isn’t mean as a judgment of Ms. Whippman or her mother, but more as a reality check. Sure, it can be difficult to handle other people’s emotions sometimes, but it’s much scarier to face someone whose feelings are numbed. Equally as disturbing is being able to feel someone else’s feelings while they pretend nothing is wrong. Either is bound to make you feel crazy!


Do you freeze or feel shame when your mother raises an eyebrow? Here are some resources that can help:

Mark Wolynn’s family constellations workshop. If you can’t see Mark in person, pick up a copy of his book “It Didn’t Start With You

Best option: In-person sessions with Oana Marcu, who brilliantly combines multiple ways of working with the subconscious and the emotional center in providing a powerful experience for personal change. Read more about Oana’s approach